The Lodge (Wine) Steward

Author Unknown.

Toastmaster (TM): Brother Young, are you the Ostensible Steward of the Lodge?

Wine Steward (WS): I am W. Bro. Perry, try me and prove me.

TM: How were you first prepared to be made a steward?

WS: I was divested of my coat and my arms were laid bare. An apron was placed about my waist, and a Corkscrew placed in right hand

TM: Being yourself acquainted with the proper method you will instruct the stewards to prepare in the proper manner.

WS: Brother Stewards (wait for them to stand) by the request of the Toastmaster you will prepare yourselves in the proper manner. (pause while they dress by placing a towel over their arm and holding a corkscrew)

WS: W. Bro. Perry the stewards have prepared themselves in the proper manner.

TM: Brother Young, What as a corkscrew?

WS: An instrument fashioned like a winding staircase, up which our ancient brethren received their beer.

TM: Where did they receive it?

WS: In a convenient room adjoining the chamber.

TM: And how?

WS: In Tankards and Half Tankards.

TM: Why in this peculiar manner?

WS: In half Tankards, well knowing that the same would be replenished and in Tankards from the great reliance they placed in the integrity of the Brewers in those days.

TM: What were the names of the two great Banners hung at the porch way or entrance to the Ancient Chamber?

WS: That on the left was called Guinness, and that on the right, Big Rock Traditional (local Calgary Beer).

TM: What were their separate and conjoined significations?

WS: The former denotes in strength and the latter goodness and when conjoined INSTABILITY.

TM: What is Beer?

WS: A peculiar product of chemistry, veiled in mystery and illustrated by labels.

TM: How is this depicted in our Chambers?

WS: By a couple of Hops near to a barrel of water.

TM: Brethren, these are the usual questions, I shall put others if any Brother wishes me to do so.
[pause]
Then Bro Stewards you will do your duty.

Courtesy of:
W. Bro. Al Perry
King George #59, G.R.A.
Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
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2000-12-15

Toastmaster (TM):	Brother Young, are you the Ostensible Steward of the Lodge?
Wine Steward (WS):	I am W. Bro. Perry, try me and prove me.
TM:	How were you first prepared to be made a steward?
WS:	I was divested of my coat and my arms were laid bare. An apron was placed about my waist, and a Corkscrew placed in right hand
TM:	Being yourself acquainted with the proper method you will instruct the stewards to prepare in the proper manner.
WS:	Brother Stewards (wait for them to stand) by the request of the Toastmaster you will prepare yourselves in the proper manner. (pause while they dress by placing a towel over their arm and holding a corkscrew)
WS:	W. Bro. Perry the stewards have prepared themselves in the proper manner.
TM:	Brother Young, What as a corkscrew?
WS:	An instrument fashioned like a winding staircase, up which our ancient brethren received their beer.
TM:	Where did they receive it?
WS:	In a convenient room adjoining the chamber.
TM:	And how?
WS:	In Tankards and Half Tankards.
TM:	Why in this peculiar manner?
WS:	In half Tankards, well knowing that the same would be replenished and in Tankards from the great reliance they placed in the integrity of the Brewers in those days.
TM:	What were the names of the two great Banners hung at the porch way or entrance to the Ancient Chamber?
WS:	That on the left was called Guinness, and that on the right, Big Rock Traditional (local Calgary Beer).
TM:	What were their separate and conjoined significations?
WS:	The former denotes in strength and the latter goodness and when conjoined INSTABILITY.
TM:	What is Beer?
WS:	A peculiar product of chemistry, veiled in mystery and illustrated by labels.
TM:	How is this depicted in our Chambers?
WS:	By a couple of Hops near to a barrel of water.
TM:	Brethren, these are the usual questions, I shall put others if any Brother wishes me to do so. [pause] Then Bro Stewards you will do your duty.